Burst Communications

As wifi in the desert is rarer than rocking horse poo we are bursting the blogs out via email through GPRS. This means that they arrive out of order. I am sorry but we cant fix this unless we send one at a time and Chris wants to spend the smallest amount of time transmitting as possible. Coul someone please update the facebook group of our progress as loading facebook takes over 10 minutes!!!!

Rain In The Sahara

We wake to still more rain and the Germans and BBs have also given up during the night and are asleep in their cars. We get ourselves packed up and ready to move as quick as possible the security guard is on hand to point out he has watched us all night and is tired and would like a tip / present. He gets the knackered chair as well as a whip round from the teams. He has done a good job and all our kit is still there.

We start to muster on the road and have to dig WWD out of their position on the campsite. This doesn't bode well for us doing much off road when we are in Mauritania. We start to roll and run around the town looking for fuel as some of the cars are running low. After 20 minutes we fill the cars up that are low from Jerry Cans and start the run. 10 minutes later we see a fuel station, typical!! We all fuel and refill the cans and get on our way. It is still fine rain and loads of wind, the wind isnt even in the car!!!!

We are now officially in Western Sahara and the sand is being blown across the road. Watching the patterns made as it travel is really hypnotising. Chris sleeps for lots of the first bit but wakes up for the police checks. Colin also attempts to sleep and we bounce around for a bit as we hit the edge of the road. Quite soon after Chris manages to convince Colin its time to swap. We run for a total of 200 km to Tarfaya a medium size town where we are hoping to have lunch. Unfortunately after a quick reconnoitre decide the place is a dump and to push on as its only another 100 km or so to where we are going to spend the night. As we get to roughly the right point Chris waves to Gran Canaria, as Rich Morris requested. Rich are you their for New Year?

The rain eases and then gets worse the wind drops and then builds up again. As we are driving Chris gets out and up on the roof as there is a horrible noise that is driving us both nuts. From what he can see it looks like a strap is being caught by the wind and thumping on the roof, its amazing how much such a small thing can wind you up!!! At the next police road block we get out and take the strap off. It had been put in to stop the roof rack shifting if we broke heavily. Sic Pickled Onion has brakes, when did this happen??

During the day we are stopped at several police checks and get through 3 fishes. The police are friendly and polite and occasionally ask for a cadeuax. It depends what you have visible to if they ask. Pleading you speak nothing but English seams to help.

We continue the next 100 Km with no problems and some lovely pictures. Heading into Laayoune we see military everywhere and UN vans. The place is a bit like Aldershot but a lot more guns on display. We head to the hotel recommended in the Lonely Planet unfortunately it is fully booked so we trawl round the town for a place to stay. Colin makes the mistake of saying he knows where we are and suddenly its Rubbish to the front. Colin is still trying to work out where we are and what we do at junctions without throwing in the walkie talkies. He does however direct us to within 50m of the hotel we decide to stay in. Its a lovely place and Adrian haggles the price down from 1400 duh to 900 duh per room including breakfast. According to Lonely Planet this is the next hotel up from the full one. The one below the full one has salt water showers, which doesn't sound the most appealing.

We fall out the cars and they all look a state and head to our rooms to freshen up. After the three S's Chris gets the filtration system up and running and his washing on. Clean Shreddies are a must!!! As per usually we also get the electronics packages on and charging. From their feeling like normal people we head out with GG and BB to get food and explore the city. We find a local cafe that serves food and lovely lavaza coffee mmmmmmmmhhh Chris is one hampy camper. Next door to the cafe is a patisserie where we get a load of sweet pastries to celebrate Deans birthday. The BB had sung happy birthday over the walkie talkies earlier. We amble round for a bit trying to find the supermarket and generally take in the sights before heading back for a bit of a rest before dinner. Chris uses the time to get afew of the blogs done and Colin watches BBC news (apparently the FTSE is up).

We meet up with the others and gave Dean the pastries before heading out for dinner. We decide to go to a pizza place that was closed earlier. We should have spotted something when the guy greeting us grin was larger than a cheshire cat. We order food only to discover that the pizza oven they are using can only hold 1 at a time and they wait till it is cooked before preparing the next one. As there are 9 of us it takes a while, whilst this is occuring Chris is drinking the most luminous Fanta he has ever seen and is feeling the sugar rush. Lewis this stuff makes relentless taste like water. Adrian receives news that the other Irish team are in town with the Russians (Dimitry and Stan). They are at our hotel making sure the bars beer is ok by drinking as much of it as they can.

We get back to the hotel feeling suitably full and catch up with the others stories. Stan managed to get when they cracked their sump on film. He was sat on the roof of the car at the time. They intend to get their exhaust welded back on tomorrow at the same time the Irish are going to find a new indicator unit as theirs fell out and they feel it would be an enticement for fines.

We retire and sleep like the dead till Colin walks into the glass table on his way to the loo. We are up at 0545 as we have a long push to where we intend to spend New Years eve. After vehicle checks and refuelling both us and the cars we head off.

To El Ouatia

Rather than stopping at Tan Tan we push on as the day is gloriously warm to El Ouatia. Dean has promised us that he will go fishing and catch dinner. Its not that we don't trust Deans capabilities but when we are stopped to buy vegetables we ponder getting meat. By the time we are at El Ouatia we decide to pick up some as well as wire griddles to cook it on.

After a small amount of driving around we choose a camp site and a location to put the tents up and then haggle a price. Once this is done we decide to move 10m towards the wall around the edge and promptly GG and WWD get stuck in soft sand. As this is the first time we have seen this we try several solutions to see what works before we have to do it in the wild.

The carpet donated by Jo is tested and we realise you have to put the coloured bit facing the sand otherwise it just pulls it under the wheels and spits it out. We also try a bit of digging and finally use CHs 4 x 4 to pull GG out. With WWD we have more success with the shovel and get them moving to a position they want to stay for the night. As we set up and get the kettle on and tents up Dean heads off to the sea with his rod a lure.

GG get started preping the evenings meal and Chris sets up the projector and screen ready for the movie. We get the BBQs that BB donated to us out and set them on rocks ready for the fish and meat. We also crack open a bottle of Vino Du Callapso to set the evening off. As the sun gets low in the sky Dean and Paul come back and they haven't been able to catch anything but they have got shell fish in the form of muscles and whelks. We are expecting many a tail of the ones that got away but Dean admits he didn't get a single nibble.

The site we stay on has showers and several of us make the most of it and refresh ourselves to feel semi human. They also have a bog!!! Which is something very exciting if you have an iffy gut. The solar shower has been on the roof all day an dactually appears to be colder now then when we started so its a good

As the Sun sets the food is getting close to ready the Germans arrive (Above Us The Sky). They have had a great day taking a scenic route down from Sidi Ifni that was recommended in the guide book.. We discuss the days evens at we tuck into the food. The meat we are grilling comes in dribs and drabs due to the limited BBQ space but is well cooked and tasty. After round one of food Paul cooks the shellfish and a few of us try it including Chris ("In for a penny in for a pound"). We have entertainment provided by the UK top 75 singles of the week we left, but this doesn't deter some locals trying to convince us that we should hear them sing (for a price). "Thanks lads but we would rather listen to Rhianna" takes a while to register. Chris joins the exclusive "People Who Broke Their Folding Chair" Club he joins the founding member Brian of CHs.

As it gets darker we crank up the generators and watch "Hanncock". Deans movie's are in lot more in demand than the softer flicks Chris brought. It gets colder tonight and everyone has the warmer stuff to hand due to re juggling the loads on the cars this morning. The security guard stands and watches the movie on his continual rounds he also ends up with all the cooked meat that we cant eat.

Chris retires at the end of the first movie whilst some of the others decide to push on and watch "wanted" and Colin has found the £4 whiskey bottle we got in Marrakesh. In the early hours the wind starts to really build up and the tarp over the hammocks makes loads of noise. About an hour later it rips free on Chris' side and after sticking it under his head for at least 30 minutes he decides he should really do something about it. At which point Colin gets up an helps him roll it under the front wheels. So its sleeping under the star light :) Yay. But as its a bit cold the shemagh is wrapped around Chris' face and he cant see the stars, he can however hear the wild dogs fighting. About 3 am however he can feel the rain that starts. Bugger! he does the sleeping bag hop into the car where Colin is already asleep, whiskey and hammocks don't mix apparently.

Sidi Ifni

We arrive at Sidi Ifni after taking a scenic coastal route and go about finding a campsite. During the day we stop to buy vegetables and see places hiring surf boards and quad bikes, the place is a bit like Bude and 10 km down the road we go through the local equivalent of Newquay. The sat nags sarcastic comments came in useful again, thanks Andre and Tim. We end up on the beach in a walled compound with a load of camper vans. Apparently the King doesn't allow you to camp anywhere any more as the place was looking a mess. If you do the army wake you in the middle of the night by hitting you with batons according to one of the people in the camper vans. It turns out they are in a rush back to the UK and need to be back by March. We give them our snow chains as we have no further need for them. We did carry them through Andorra and the Atlas mountains though! The camp is set up and WWD get their hammocks up and they look a lot more level than ours, we do however try each others out and debate how long we are going to be able to stay in them asleep. BB start putting up the mother of all tents. It is large enough to park the front end of their polo in and still have sleeping space in the 2 side compartments.

The campsite is well designed and they electricity points so we don't even need to get the generator up and running and its powerful enough to run two ark lights the projector and laptop as well as charge the walkie talkies. After dinner and Brian breaking his folding chair we settle down to watch Jack Ass 2.5 followed by Death race. We have the smuggest grin possible what a way to travel. Chris gives Gran another call to say we are ok and alive.

Hammock sleeping is interesting and Colin's hammock hadn't been stretched through use so he ends up basically laying on the emergency camp beds. The emergency camp beds are as rickety as they looked in the photos taken before we went and during the movies one of them collapses way it goes. As the evening wears on the other irish team arrive and they have managed to get an apartment just above where we are staying as long as they say they are friends of the owner to anyone who asks. They are in fine spirits as are the Norwegian teams that camp next to us. We end up watching Fawlty Towers as Simon cant remember the one with "don't mention the war". We retire and sleep well under the watchful eye of the security guard, who inherits the knackered folding seat in the morning.

Welding

Lets find a welder... We head back towards where we had dinner last night as what looked like a garage was spotted. Dean of CH comes with us to assist Chris' very very poor French. We find the place only does wheels and cant weld but up by the station there are afew places. Dean leaves us to it and we go for a drive. Chris has discovered a new plan to take the 2 bits of box section with him wave them manically like nun chucks. Okay so poetic licence is being used their!! The routine does look comical from the car Colin reports.

We are told at one of the many places we stop that we wont get anyone as its Sunday and they are all closed. We finally find the garage district and it is closed. We trawl the side streets and are just about to give up when we find a moped workshop who directs us one street over. They turn out to only do windscreens but in trying to get back to the main road we end up at the nastiest dirtiest lock up on the face of the planet with locals loitering. In for a penny in for a pound Chris does the funky chicken dance again with the box section and on of the old men grins and drags out a Acetylene torch and is willing to braise the rack back together. As we are now discovering before anything starts we ask a price. Chris is palmed through 3 people before one of them say 100 duh (£10). WWD paid 400 duh for their suspension spacers in Marrakesh so this looks good. The guy is like Leonardo Da Vinchi, a true artist. He does a lovely job and they even paint the roof where they welded the rack to it. Chris admittedly had to hold the umbrella to protect the guy from the rain.

We head back to the hotel with another story and find the others loading up. We get back on the road and after a fuel stop are drinking towards Sidi Ifni.

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I love it when a plan come together

Tomorrows plan is to weld the roof rack to the car and do a gentle drive down the coast before setting up camp. It will give everyone a chance to relax and chill

Onwards to Agadia

We are tanking towards Agadia and Chris gets out the laptop he has been using with the gps of the ibis on. As the computer senses it would be the most in opportune moment to fail it goes what all technology goes when needed and sticks two fingers up. A full OS crach and the one thing Chris didn't bring was an XP disc to repair it.

We head into Agadia and start to get abit misplaced over our position.... So Chris calls the hotel and after desperately trying to converse in French that he wants a room the receptionist pleads "Do you speak English!!!" We find out the hotel is next to the Souk and locate it quite easily in the end. Adrian haggles a deal on the rooms and gets them to throw in breakfast for 210duh per person (approx £20).

Its good to be in somewhere with wifi and we meet up and head out for food. We amble around street after street and end up in the main square with worlds largest number of taxis all painted pickled onion orange!!!!! We have a fantastic meal of chicken and rice and relax.

On getting back to the hotel Chris gets the shitty stick out to hit the non working laptop. It is having none of it and he ends up hitting the hotels wifi and rapidshare to get a hierens boot disc. Hoping that a chkdsk will bring it back up as he has lost system32 grrrrr. Chris is pleased as punch that he brought 2 blank discs with him. After 40 minutes he gives up as is shattered and cant kep his eyes open.

Another night where we sleep like the dead and a shower to revitalise us in the morning. This is the way to travel, especially as we have mint tea for breakfast. A fabulous drink :) Now off to find a welder....

Roof Rack

It is time to leave Marrakesh, a fantastic city that we are pleased we have seen. The excitement starts to build as it feels a bit like we are leaving civilisation. We meet up in the Meridian carpark where the CH's are staying and are joined by Bangers and Smash, How Hard Can it Be and The German Team. The convoy is looking rather larger and we have a conflab on which way to go. As we are pulling out Chris finds a stack of cash that he radios out about but no one responds, they will when they try to use it!

As we head out of town we meet up with Sand in Me Crack and another team. During the progress to the tizi n test pass we end up splitting into 2 groups. The roads wind like Andorra but are like tarmacked farmers tracks.. Its ogoing well till Chris looks out and sees the roof rack moving, never a good thing. We radio out to say we ned to stop asap ad which point one of the legs collapse. We have a conflab at the side of the road and get the CHs drill out to try to put a bolt through the rack. They discover the generator they has a builders 3 pin circular socket on it. Their drill however has a standard UK domestic plug on the charger. They are sure they have and adapter but are not sure where on the vehicle it is. We deploy the 2.2kva and get her up and running. It works now, last time in Sotogrande we tried to use it wouldnt start. Later found to be no fuel!!

Adrian from GG wakes up the road and finds a iron worker. The gods are smiling on us! He brings him back and we do lots of gesticulation and he seams to get the idea. The teams that we had split from earlier catch up and the money turns out to be Stephans and he is most pleased to have it back. We cruse down to where he works and discover that he has the kit to do it but no power as the winds have taken down the lines. His transformer is in a ply box very interesting. I will up the pics when I get a good connection. We then hit the next snag as he needs 330v and we only output 240v. After more pigeon french we end up getting a brace bolted to the broken bar and are on our way. Cost £10 and 3 beers (the guy was most impressed by the beer and was welcomedlike a hero back into the garage with them!). Thanks to all the teams that stopped to help. We just felt like a bunch o plonkers that it had failed. We took the load from the rack in the car and also the VW camper of GG.

We travel on further up seeing the most amazing views. The camera doesn't seam to be able to catch them. We pass another team that has doen a head on with a taxi. I have the pic of the Taxi but not the Pajero. Everyone is ok and as there are loads of people there dealing with it we move on. We climb above the snow line taking even windier roads. After a quick pee stop we get to the Cafe at the top and meet quite afew other teams. The guy running the place must have thought his luck was in. We all have omelettes, you dont realise your hungry when doing this till you smell or taste food. The food is hastened on by Adrian and we end up having 21.

The run down from the cafe is brilliant especially when you meet buses coming the other way! WWD and the Germans head off towards a campsite they want to go. BS and HHCIB push on from the pass whilst we are still waiting for the rest of the people to finish food. Coming down the mountains Dierda has a problem with the brakes overheating which quickly resolves itself and we are back on the planes heading towards Agadia. We intend to stop in one of the villages but keep pushing on as the going is good.

Boxing Day

So how can we top Christmas day? Boxing day has a plan we load up on breakfast and head into town to meet the CHs with the BB and do the open top bus tour. We time it perfectly and the bus stops just outside their hotel as we are catching up with whats been going on and new of other teams. The bus tour seams a great idea as you will hit all the major sites and get a commentary on the history. We find out all about the history of the city as well as seeing the funniest method of brick laying. You hang out of the building your working on and do it that way, when your 3 stories up!! From the bus we see Risitas heading out of town but are unable to attract their attention.

Once we have done the tour we head back to the hotel via the local equivalent of Tescos (Marjane). We pic up a few provisions booze, mixers and shower gel. Didnt want to overload the car ;) The BB do a lot more effect shop as they havent got any food onboard. We get back to the Ibis and help the BBs load up. They are short of space and want help positioning stuff. They were even going to get rid of their disposable barbies (bleeding sacrilegious!!!) So we had away with them ;)

We have arranged for a meet up and drink at 1930 and faff till then sending emails and typing up blog posts. WWD, GG, CH and a German and an other Irish team turn up. WWD have had a fab time, they have their jedi suits and arrive on scooters they hired. They have been rassing round the old town with a phone taped to the wing mirror recording the progress. The footage will be upped to youtube when they get home. You must check it out. Chris is dead jealous that he didn't think of it and hasn't got chance to do it. Th hotel they are staying in with the Germans is lovely and they say would put the ritz to shame. Sorry dont know the name of it will try to find out. Stephan has scared the woman that is looking after them at breakfast that morning he goes to ask for bread and ends up asking a bit load scaring the woman. Currently he is being called the pan monster.

The other Irish team had picked up some ladies on the walkie talkies on the way in but hadn't managed to met up with them. They did however make Marrakeshs Passha and leave early to get some more drinking in. We discuss the route we are going to take the next day and what time we are going to leave. We end up brining out some bisquits (tell them vinny sent you) that we had found in the marjane and they turn out to be as salty as hell. This spurs us on to have another couple of glass of vino collapso.

Christmas Day pt. 2

After settling ourselves back into the Ibis John of Bangers and Smash text to say they are on the way in and will be with us in a bit along with How Hard Can It Be. We are sat in the bar relaxing with these messages coming in until they say the hotel is full and have just gone to the one next door but will be back in the bar in a bit. We start asking ourselves questions and finally work out that there are 2 Ibis in Marrakesh and they are at the other one.

After taking Pickle Onion down to the one they are in and a brief catch up of stories we travel into the Medina for food. It is about a 5 minute drive for us and they take a taxi. It then takes us and hour to find them again.

The final call is they are at stall 29. we find stall 28 and 30 but no 29. 29 is eventually located between 117 and 130 which is obviously where we would have put it. Away from the stalls there are loads of street performers and story tellers and it is a fantastic atmosphere. We end up meeting other teams and having food from one of the stalls after Stan negotiates a good price.

What an end to Christmas day!

Christmas Day pt 1

Merry Christmas to everyone, I am sorry for the delay in sending but have been trying to fit as much is as possible. We ventured back to the Medina today to find out what it is actually like in daylight. Last nights experience was a real shock an from what we saw we had it wrong. As Paul from Wrong Way Down said later in the day you are completely safe as the people will rob you blind to your face.

We are joined by the Barnacle Busters and amble around the old town entering the old square via some side streets. The place is non stop and has a real buzz to it. We walk round some of the souks and take in the culture and it is very difficult to express in words what the place is like. Chris ends up talking to a local that thinks he is Australian, Chris isnt bothered to diswade him as far as he is aware Australians are not hated by anyone!! This guy stops someone else walking by and after a brief exchange we follow the second guy for around 20 minutes to the tannery district and get a guided tour. It is a great way to see the sights and smells of the city and we find out loads about how leather is worked. Completely obligatory we end up in a shop that sells the products as well as rugs. We sit and have ice tea and are shown the goods. Chris and Colin both decide to get rugs and the fun begins.

They name a price that would single handedly fund the Moroccan Space Program, Chris names a price that would cover afew cans of Tesco's value beans. We end up settling on a price a lot closer to Chris' and we all leave smiling, till we our stung for more denaries by our "guide". Having left the Tannery area we all walk around taking in the sites with no idea where we are going. After a bit Chris calls gran to wish her Happy Christmas, and gain muchos brownie points, he hears all about how the UK is.

After about another hour of walking the Barnacale Busters decide that they want a fes and once purchased we have an impromptu photo shoot which seams to bemuse the locals. The pictures have been hopefully uploaded to the Picassa album.

Tired out from all this culture we end up in a cafe for lunch. We sit down and "septic sam the sewer man" turns up and runs a leaking hose through the eating area. Luckily it misses us as we are sat on the terrace!!! When the food arrives we play the game of "what is that I'm eating and do I want to know??". After being fully revitalised we head back to the hotel where we receive a call from Tim and Jo. It was great to fill them in on what we have been doing and try to get across what's been going on.

Laptop Goes Kapoot

There is going to be a delay in uploading the blogs as have lost 3 days worth due to laptop deciding it didnt like me and corrupting the system files.  Needless to say I was very impressed.

Close Encounters

This is all turning very Rock and Roll as Chris can hardly keep his eyes open and has decided to not drink as he is sure that will send him to sleep quicker. After and excellent meal and much chatting we grovel a lift off the Barnacle Busters as there is no way the guy with the car is still waiting as it is now 11.30pm.

We are warned its going to be tight but we will both rather endure anything rather than walk home. Getting a taxi from here we might as well pull our pants down, as the tourist special price will go into overdrive.

We travel back with Colin in the back and Chris sat in the from with one of the Barnacle Busters sat on his lap. These BB are gentleman that enjoy their food as much as Chris and Colin so the feeling in Chris' legs is optional.....We arrrive back at the GLORIOUS Ibis and decide to have a night cap so the Vodka and Whiskey is broken out. Thanks for the Vodka Ady (23 Bassenthwaite) you are an absolute gent and it made the evening.

Suddenly its 0130 and Christmas day. We toast everyone and wish you all reading this a fabulous festive season and pass out.

Left Right Left.... Double Time

The adrenaline rush of finding ourselves in a nice hotel revitalises our spirits and we decide to find out where the Chester Hawlers are as it sounds a plush place. Asking at reception we get a map and told its about 5 – 6 km to their hotel. Colin points out that when we were in Cancoon we walked 9km to the bars and that wasn't too bad so we might as well do it again. Chris agrees as he is feeling rather portly from sitting in the motor for so long, and also no amount of cash would see him get back in the car tonight. So we start off with the compass in pocket and a map, what else do two educated world travellers need???? PMSL. At this point you could ask why we didnt hire a taxi and take the easy route. Well as Colin didnt have high heels and a short skirt there was no way Chris was paying for a taxi!!

After 40 minutes at a cracking pace the bravardo starts to faulter. Chris recons we have have been shifting at nearly 8 km and we should have seen more things on the map by now and promptly takes the map out. A helpful local appears out of no where (materialises out of the shadows) and offers to help. At this point Chris will pay for a taxi high heels or not. So we start chatting and he says he will take us. Bloody marvelous!!!! So we head off..... walking. We are making polite conversation and are still walking..... We are still walking. It turns out he is going to walk us to the hotel after 15 minutes we finally see it. By this time we have possibly sorted out a car back to our hotel a guide for the next day and a restaurant booking. These guys dont miss a trick and make the locals in Egypt look like beginners. He drops us off and promises to return in 2 hrs with a car to take us back to the hotel.

The Meridian is the cats whiskers of hotels and looks amaizing. We meet Dean and Brian and their wives and finally sit down. Low and behold the amber nectar of beers turns up and Chris' brain shuts down. The Barnacle Busters give us a call to ask us where we are as they have just turned up at the Ibis and have seen the "Battle Bus". We let them know along with directions and distances and they are going to come down and join us.

As time progresses we decide to grab food as they must have got lost and amble through to the restaurant. We are shown the worlds nicest al la cart set meal of 7 courses (with a price to match). Chris just wants a bowl of something warm and filling that is definitely cooked and dead (the 2 can not co-inside!). We have just ordered and the Barnacle Busters turn up and they join us and regale the group of their stories coming down and their polo Minty. You have never seen so many people discuss a custom exhaust made by a fabulous Spanish mechanic in Gibraltar.

Articulated Lorry in Farnham

For the drive into Marrakesh Colin must be actually following the speed limits. The police out here must have got a bulk discount on radar guns as they are everywhere and so far we have been lucky. We arrive on the outskirts of the city and the group bomb bursts toward their intended hotels. The Chester Hawlers hire a moped drive to take them to theirs and Wrong Way Down and the Germans where last seen disappearing down a side road. We head confidently on. The maps are looking a bit iffy but it cant be that hard can it?

We break the walls of the old city and at least 6 kinds of brown and sticky breaks out. There are vehicles everywhere and its suddenly got dark. We start travelling down streets that are just 2 car widths wide, which is allright till you realise that there are people, mopeds and oncoming vehicles as well as donkeys and cars and stalls. We are both starting to get rather nervous. We finally come to a halt when we hit a dead end and have no idea where we are. Colin talks to some locals who assure us our Jidy is just round the corner and they will take us there. Chris stays with the car to watch it and try to fix the mirror that got damaged and Colin takes his phone. Chris is feeling very exposed. After a bit Chris gets out and leans against the vehicle to take in the atmosphere and see if it is that iffy. The mass of humanity in a confined space is threatening especially when we don't speak the language and have been running for hours seeing very few people.

Colin comes back after 20 long minutes and says that there is no parking at the hotel and it is a dump. The guides (scrots) that had shown him the way are trying to assure us that we can leave the car where it is and will help us take our bags to the hotel. Just about every possible holiday horror story is running through our minds at this point and we decide to make our excuses and leave which is easier said than done. After much bollocks and gusto (and 12 euros) we start moving. The locals aren't the happiest with only skinning us for that and travel down the street hanging of the back of the car. Needles to say we don't stop and accelerate like a scolded cat. Whilst doing this the car is blue with expletives as Colin explains that some of the toilets we have seen on the way down would seam more appealing to stay in rather than our "hotel". We are yamming it round the streets till we see a suzi 4x4 and it is decided that we will follow it. Eventually we find the city wall and a gate out and Colin doesn't need telling twice, we gun it. We are now heading out of town back towards Cas and give Dean a call to find out where they are staying as "sod this for a game of soldiers" rules now apply.

Driving round the Medena is like taking a double trailer articulated lorry through Farnham at rush hour with out signs and ending up travelling the wrong way round the one way system.

Dean explains that the moped driver they had took them down all sorts of back streets and he had to put his chain back on at least 3 times before the guide gave the moped to a random and got in the car with them to show them the way. When they got to the hotel he tried to charge them for a new chain! So from the sounds of it getting to theirs is going to be a poop sandwich. We fall back on the Ibis hotel that we saw on the way in. I dont think either of us have ever been so please to stop and get out of a car in a well light area. We bowl in and grab a room, that we have to check out first as we currently trust no one. OMG it is like heaven and we can both completely recommend staying in Ibis when travelling. It only cost £5 more than the other place and we have a secure car park, shower and free wifi. Chris should have been posting more blogs but has been doing things like uploading pics or being a tourist. What an end to an Xmas eve! Well we cant go to sleep yet..... what else can we do?

Ponderances

Its a fabulous experience that has generated so many stories already and we are still in the civilized bit!! It is overwhelming though trying to take in all the cultural differences and keeping humour. I am writing long blogs as if I don't I will just forget all these great moments. It feels like we have been away for weeks and yet it is only days.

Who knows what lies ahead and where the trip will take us. Each place we go to challenges us a bit more and I wonder what I will think when we get back to the UK and I actually have to stop at junctions rather than hitting the horn and closing my eyes.

The people are very friendly and welcoming but feeling that you are actually safe rather than 30 seconds away from being mugged is very much a case of challenging your perceptions. I should have spent so much more time learning languages as feel completely inadequate at communicating.

I am currently sat in reception waiting for Bangers and Smash to turn up and am trying to write the blogs of the last few days and to get across the mood of the trip (ignoring some of the fruitier language!).

Casablanca

After a decent nights sleep it is on to Casablanca to find Riks Bar for a spot of light refreshment.  The drive in isn't to bad and we manage to find the centre of the city without any major problems.  From there the route to the port isn't that bad. Chris nav is being aided by screen captures of google maps and the Riks Bar website acquired before we left Shkirat.  Bang on the money we round a corner and find the bar, along with 2 bored looking security guards.  These guards proceed to tell us that the cafe doesn't open till midday and apparently this one isn't the Riks Bar we want, The one we want is right, left, right, 1km just round the corner. Also we cant park here as its for patrons only. 
 
We proceed to follow these directions and end up going down streets that are rather narrow with no sign of another bar.  When we find a square we pull up and Paul goes to chat to a local to find out where we have gone wrong. Talking to Simon he points out that it probably isn't called Riks Bar as they have a different attitude to alcohol here and would be called a cafe.  After Paul finishes the discussions we find out we were in the right place and go stuff it and drive to find somewhere to have lunch.
 
We finally pull over in a posh looking area on the beach, were 3 policeman pull in after us. They have the badge to prove it. Above the word police we swear it says Deputy Dog and reckon on the back is written choking hazard, suitable for 3 year old's and over. They turn out to be fantastic. Two guard the cars and one patrols round the beach to protect us. We set ourselves up and have Chicken Curry, Rat Packs and Beans followed by a lovely fruit cake from Dean. Dierdra bough along some Christmas cookies but unfortunately we weren't able to have them. She opened the tin and found that it was a self bake kit and as we didn't have an oven we were out of luck.
 
Off on our way again we end up going down loads of side streets till we hit a major set of roads. These are of course grid locked. After probably 30 minutes with humour waning we decide to head back towards Rabat as that way we can pick up the toll road to Marrakesh. We find ourselves on a lovely road and start moving well till suddenly the road stops and we are suddenly on a sand track. WWD decide to see if they can see the motorway over the brow of the hill ahead and after chatting to a local we follow they as they assure us we can rejoin. We bounce our way over the ground till we meet a car coming the other way, where we negotiate to follow him. He promptly manages to take us to an underpass where we aren't able to join at this point WWD suggest using the winch to pull us up the embankment and force entry onto the road. Humour was low and pissy level definitely rising!!! we then follow this guy, as we might as well, back over a rubbish tip where a really gnarly local hops in his car to help out. We do some real off road and have tested the sump guard getting back to a tarmac road and finally we are back motoring.
 
After al this excitement tanking along the motor soon starts to get very boring. We break up the boredum buy overtaking each other and getting some camera practice in. At one point Chris decides to see how far out the car he can get so the Chester Hawlers can get a good pic. The problem with that is he is driving and for the car to keep going requires his foot on the accelerator doh! Apparently the picture is good though, so completely worth it!!!
 
We are getting updates from other teams and GG let us know one of the Irish teams are gaining on us. At which point the Germans arrive. We have no idea where they went to as we lost them on the way to the Tangiers ferry. As we are getting close to Marrakesh we decide to pull in for a break and driver change at which point the Irish bowl in to join us. Its great to swap stories and some of the experiences and once we have configured their radios to work on our comms frequency we are off again. We are all looking forward to getting to Marrakesh.

Rabat to Casablanca Overnight

The place we have ended up is great and has free wifi so I have been able to upload some of the pics. We have had a cracking dinner and have retired early. I am just writing up the blog and marshalling the electronics kit ensuring we are charged and ready for the run to Marakech tomorrow.

 

Not the most interesting of blogs but can only do so much and today has been a fun one..... Just think I could be back home struggling with Tescos ques and cold weather. I know where I would rather be :)

 

 

Rabat to Casablanca

After 15 Km we decide we have to cut across to where the hotel might be and we are definately in the boonies. Going past the first settlement they are all out, and Chris swears he can hear banjos (a la deliverance). Chester Hallers mention over the radios you only have to worry if your hear dualling banjos.

 

Running up to a bridge we have to stop rather suddenly as the shepard is bringing his flock over.  The lorry that was behind us has other ideas and just yams it through. I suppose a 10 ton truck does win when pitted agains a goat or even a heard of them.

 

Let it be noted shortly afterwards we stopped and asked for directions admitedly from the least dodgyiest geezer we had seen in a long time. After much back and forth we found the train station and then ended up in a petol station with Dean hiring a taxi and us all following him as humour had wained.

 

On the correct route to the hotel we met several unlight horse drawn wagons coming the wrong way up the wrong side of the road as well as the taxi driver playing chicken with an articulated lorry. Very entertaining!!!!!!

 

We finally made it.........

Rabat

After a lovely lunch we tootled along towards Rabat and the campsite not a care in the world. Whilst of course playing silly buggers with games like: head in the car, head out of the car, picture of my feet, picture of the back of my head and other classic that can wind the driver up no end when the passengers bored.  Chris's favourite is to cunningly start poking Colin with the video camera turned on.

 

Chris was thinking of the lovely set out campsite with showers and lecky just like lonely planet mentions.  mmmh TIA (This Is Africa).

 

Well for starters we are sat at the back of the convoy and have been watching a zebras arse (Galway to Gambia) for the last hour when we turn into the airport WTF at this point we realise no one knows where we are actually going.

 

A crafty rummage and Chris has both lonely planet, map and road book in his hands and has suddenly become the convoys nav. I think it was a case of he was doing his shoes laces up when everyone else took a step back. 

 

Garmin since leaving Tangiers was as helpful as a choclate tea pot due to having about 3 roads in the entire of Africa and none of them still existing.  Way points work great but lonely planet doesnt give GPS for people with the kit but no idea.

 

On the greatest rational and much cunning we all head towards Sale with the "Battle Bus" at the front and many supporting calls over the radios.

 

Chris has a heading in mind and the map looks simple, head for the city walls and when you see them go left and keep the wall on the right till you hit the sea.  Great plans are never that when your sat in the field....... Oooh we found the wall... Is that a wall??.....is that a palace compond or a wall??...... no thats a wall???.... bugger thats a block of houses!!!!!.......arrrhh where did all these roads come from....... are we all still together????? Right I am getting my bloody compass out. Cant go wrong using a compass in a metal car and besides it can get any worse, can it?

 

Oooooh I see a sign, that way, no that way.....(we are now travelling the wrong way round the wall) and Chris is pulling air from both ends, great for road traction not so if he has overcaked it.

 

Ok so under the legend on the map there must be an unmarked entrance to the city, as if we get here we can go across and their must be signs soon. Right lets go through here.... Coor everything is going abit slow.... We just need to go past the 4 mosques and through this graveyard. Hang on a sec, why have they got a motorway maintenance van at the front with lights going???? Moments pass as Chris summs up the crowd around the car and then time slows as he manically grabs for the radio mike to warn "wrong way down" not to use the air horns as we are at the back of a funeral possession.  When the possession turn off we propel the vehicles through a hole in the city wall to roughly where the campsite should be.

 

Well the land is flat but the shopping trolleys are on fire and they are up on bricks as someones knicked the wheels.  After chatting to a helpful chappy and guesticulating like a mad orangutang we are told there is no camping in the city and the nearest place is 15 km towards Casablanca.  Well how hard can that be. He even drew us a map.  The map looked abit like an elephant with two tusks, as maps go never a good sign.

 

So we are off again still with Chris in front which is not a good place for him to be especially with a map and no music. Chris was really concentrating at this point the music was off and tougue was out the side of the mouth.

 

The convoy now reaches down town Rabat at rush hour and are using the wet finger in the air method of navigation. This method works on the following... we dont want to be where we have come from and as long as we are sort of near the sea I am sure it will work out (bugger cant see the sea due to tall buildings).

 

We are doing well till we ended up outside a souk as the riot police start forming up with battons and body armour. Another time not to us the air horns. Well someone is protesting about something and we want to be here even less.....they rush past the lead cars and are politely suggesting to people to move on (with the battons) around the last car.  However after a couple more turns we find the coast road and the sea. Whoop Whoop and to celebrate we drive into the nearest garage to use the hole in the floor.

 

The coast road allows us fantastic views of another gorgeous sunset. We mootle down the coast road at a certain amount of speed and WWD nearly get their dinner delivered to them through the car window as a cow decides that playing chicken with vehicles is a great occupation and has sprinted down the side road and out into the 4 lane traffic. They apparently saw he whites of its eys.

 

Abit further on Colin point out what looks lke the local KKK meeting, either that or a convention of Jedi Nights, we arent hanging around to find out.....

 

 

 

 

 

Ed Dutton

Heres a post just for you!!! and it should make you laugh... We have several Russian teams and they are all bonkers. One of them never stops drinking and was seen last night fitting a wooden sump guard. Chris walked past their car and all he could hear was sawing coming from under the bonnet. He also wont start to do anything till at least he has drunk half a bottle of the boot plonk, the Russian not Chris.

 

They have a pen and a spare wheel and a boot full of 1 euro wine and thats them ready to rock and roll.

 

I shamlessly mentioned Eds name as he text to say he wouldnt sponsor us if I didnt and being such a money grabbing individual how could I refuse ;)

 

 

on route to Rabat

Thanks for all the texts and messages of support on facebook. I am sorry we havent responded to them all, the data link is like an asthmatic hamster with heavy shopping and a hernia. 

 

We are still on the worlds longest disco album and its Colins turn to drive, currently "When Will I Be Famous".

 

Tonight we will try out the hammocks and the projectors.  Current thinking is Death Race as the Chester Hawlers have it.  WWD are still listening to the Harry Potter audio books series and are going to let us know when they need a change.  Paul was able to make Galway to Gambias day when he got their stereo to work.  They had done the run down with no music and a buzzing oil warning light. They still have the buzzing but now have some tunes.

 

We havent seen the Germans that we lost on the way to the ferry and the Latvians have probably found a bar somewhere.

 

Garmin has given up trying to work out roads and now just shows a line to the next way point. We should be in Rabat around 1600.

 

 

Morroco

Well we went the route of Tarifa to Tangers as it was reconed to be easier on customs.  Whilst waiting to load we met one of the Timbuktu teams with a car that looked like it had no kit in.

 

We set ourselves up on the boat and started to sort out customs forms as well as swap mp3s.  The Chrester Hawlers and Galway to Gambia checked their sat phones and we settled in for the crossing.  Wrong Way Down got to the food counter early and had Crossants but by the time we got our backsides in gear they had sold out :( We did however all get out passports stamped on the boat and hoped for an easy entry into Morrocco.

 

We moored up but didnt move very far for ages, very much hoot your horn and drive just to get off the ferry! The walkie talkies were distributed and we were picking up alot of port chatter. Wrong Way Down started ordering doughnuts and discussing fish to see what happened.

 

Customs took us about an hour and Chester Hawlers and Galway to Gambia cleared pretty quickly. We were doing well till they lost our forms and then decided what to do with us.  When WWD were told to move forward they ended up nearly making a break for freedom on the wrong side of the road and too muchos whislte blowing. I think this made the customs feel we should definately wait for a bit longer.  Colin and Simon when off to the Police area with a friendly smiling guide (smiling abit like a shark that has seen dinner). Paul and Chris were discussing over the radio if the man with the rubber gloves and KY was in their near future.

 

Colin must have a face that says please try to sell me toot / moody gold / pay a fine for something I have just thought up. Whilst amusing we havent even got out of the dock compond!! After about an hour we clear, which is good as we were expecting it to take upto 4 hours. Total cost to us 4 euros whoop whoop.

 

So on the open road again we blatted through tangiers playing disco hits at a LOUD volume. Mwah Mwah Mwa Mwah el Starsky and hutch and loving it. Whats wrong with a bit of "Car Wash"????

 

Driving in built up areas here is just a case of who has the biggest Kahoonas. Great when Chris forgets to look to the left on roundabouts and is too busy bouncing up and down in his seat singing (badly). We left Tangiers behind us and started the run to the campsite at Sale (Rabat) with the sounds of "Ice, Ice Baby!".

 

For lunch we pulled of the main road and went into a village which was cracking. Especially when Chris wasnt paying attention and tried to order everything that wasnt on the lunch menu, finally settling on an omlette. The view was great and WWD wanted to run their Audi over the beech but were eventually diswaded.  However we have seen the vehicle we would use next time a Tuk Tuk. How cool would that be??? 4000 miles in one of those. Dean recons it would take about a litre of fuel to do the lot which seams a good idea.

 

 

 

 

 

Tangiers Ferry

Have arrived at the Tangiers ferry and our current.y filling out the documents. Going to get some grub in a bit.

 

The Rock

We made it to Sotogrande after a bit of a push and met up with the Chester Hawlers as well as Wrong Way Down. It was good to finally stop driving and relax with afew beers.

 

After a good nights sleep and watching the Chester Hawlers fix their brakes issue we headed to Gib to check the place out.  The Hawlers had to get a circular gringer to take a lip out of their brakes to stop them seizing on.  Following a recomendation we parked up before and walked on, we were glad we did the que to get on seamed to be miles long.  We later found out that Wrong Way Down had got there early and driven on as well as most the way up the rock. Aparently the raod was getting narrower and naroower and then all they could see through the screen was sky and they started to loose traction so thats where they stopped.

 

We took a much more sedate approach and wandered round the town taking in the sights and stopping for a pub lunch. A tip for Gib not to get naled on the exchange rate is to pay for everything using pounds.  We decided not to go up the rock as it looked manky at the top. We met back up with the Chester Hawlers and decided to head back to the hotel. The walkie talkies worked well but not for too long as Chris hadnt recharged them after the inital charge.

 

By the time we got back to the hotel many more teams had arrived and it was really interesting to hear about other teams trips so far. As not enough teams had yet turned up the hotel wasnt able to get us ferry tickets but told us to head to the port andget them from a particular place.  So we set off with a very tired Irish Team (Galway to Gambia) in the lead, they had arrived about 5 minutes before.  Trying to find this particular office was interesting and envolved driving round in circles and looking thoroughly lost.  Team Lumberjack (Latvians) were convinced that we had to keep going to find this particular office. We lost the Irish and the German teams and ended up just pulling over and getting the tickets from the side of the road.  When we got back we had all payed the same price of 167 euros for a car and 2 people and could have got the same price without making the port from any of the numerous sellers.  We have decided to take the route form Tarifa to Tangiers as aparently some of the customs stuff is done on the ferry.

 

Last night at least another 7 teams turned up. Some have decided to have a rest day before travelling on. Understandable when you consider the amount of driving they have done. I wonder if we looked so ashen faced when we arrived?

 

I am writing this as we are in convoy to the ferry port excited and nervous at the same time.

 

 

 

 

Spain - Sunday 2

We travelled on this morning for a couple of hourse before stopping to have breakfast. Whilst having a brew in the car park we got chatting to an Irish family who where on there way down to the "Spanish Blackpool". They were telling us horror stories of trying to be forced off the road in Barcelona and how thye were nearly robbed 9 years ago when they were down this way.

 

After wishing us luck they found their battery was dead and had to get a jump start from us. They wished us and any Irish teams the best of luck!

 

The driving has been easy and we have been making very good time. We have been toying with the idea all day of pushing on to Sotogrande and we have decided to go for it after speaking to Dean (Chester Hawlers) on the phone.

 

Called Gran today, which was a great way to get brownie points :) Heard all about last nights TV and what she was doing over the next few days.

 

Forgot to mention Ady txt this morning on where to get a good beer in Mauritania, I am sure a helpful tip that will be noted along with the many others he has provided.

 

We have gone through Alacanti and Alamera and at 6.25, having seen another fabulous sunset, are just outside Malaga. Current total 2326km and rising.

Sunday

A decent nights sleep has made us both feel human again. We decide to get a couple of hours in before breakfast and are aiming for Alicante.  We have just passed Valencia and are going well.

 

This time has given Chris chance to write up the latest posts and recharge the iPod. We are currently listening to the Beach Boys Pet Sounds. The sky is clear and it is lovely and sunny abit a little cool when you are wandering around outside the car.

A7 - Tanking

The road from Barcelona down is like the A1 to Cranwell goes on for ever and your never quite sure of where you are on it.

 

We have bounced from service station to service station as we require things like fuel / food / a rest.  From looking at the worldmap on the laptop we discount several of the original overnights and keep going till we hit a signed rest area.

 

Humour had become very thin at that point (very thin).  We decide to stop and get ourselves a room. We have done 1564Km since leaving Portsmouth in 25 hrs. It got stupid but the following day neither of us are sure why!!!!!

 

We had just sat down to some universally bad motorway serivces food when 3/4 of the spanish teams arrrive for coffee and recognise us.  Glad they did as I dont recongise myself at this point.  They are pushing on for at least another 300 Km that night. We are having problems doing the 300 m to the room!! We only chat for a short time as we feel like poop on a stick.  WIll catch up with them again in Sotogrande.

Barcelona

We made Barcelona and would have sung the song but in the rush to leave Chris forgot the words so we managed the courus twice...well the bit of the corus that goes Barcelona anyway.

 

The sunset was breath taking and full of colour.  The car is completely fine again, think it must have just needed a break.

Spain - Barcelona

The lack of sleep in Bordeaux is catching up and we are both pretty minging. Currently its drive for a couple of hours to hunmour fails and then swap.  We are looking for a place to stop and must be driving down the one road that has never heard of cafe or resaurants.  They have however heard of great views with winding roads and lakes.

 

On the C14 we find a Motorbike Museum at the point where the dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Colin parks us up as Chris tries to get his brain working.  Rather than look and see what caused all the lights to come on we head for a break being that what ever it is will probably fix itself when left alone. Its a fixing philisophy that works with computers.

 

After grabbing some grub and looking at the motorbikes that did the Egypt to South Africa run we decide we should look at he car and work out whats happened.  From Colins initial look he recons the alternator has gone. As the location hasnt got much going on we recon we can run for another 50Km to somewhere more interesting before calling the AA. So its Chris' turn to drive and after half a kilometer all the lights go off and we are back fully running. The car must had had a thought that with Chris driving it shouldnt misbehave.

 

 

Andorra

So after hearing from the Chester Hallers we felt boyed up and looking forward to Andorra. We made the decision to not stop at Toulouse but to push on incase customs was slow. Had been warned that it may take a long time.

 

We can see snow topped mountains yay, soon will be time for snow chains (admitedly a strange thing to get excited about!). The scenary is gorgeous and Colin takes some photos as we wind up toward the border.

 

The bordor was a bit of an anticlimax as there was no que and we drove straight through. It looks like in a afew months time they are going to have a brand spanking new ubber customs post but not now.  The road is carved out through the snow and reminds Chris of driving in Wales.

 

We end up with the ubiquitous local White Van man behind us and he is willing to travel that close to us it cant be that dangerous so we crack on at max speed.  After slidding round a couple of hair pins Chris gives up with glasses and switches to shades. May as well look cool when I die. (Colin: "look cool you???").

 

We arrive at the ski slopes and its breath taking. After the excitement of the turns we dont really feel like stopping and plan to stop for lunch on the backside. The Garmin is having an eppy and keeps loosing sat signal. It bleats away like a small child, compared to Colin who curses like an adult!.  Using the judgement of up must be the way we wont to go we suddenly amble over a saddle point and it all becomes down hill. A very rapid downhill. AT this point we have to let the mascot creat yellow snow and have an impromptu snow ball fight (not with yellow snow).

 

When we are coming down the sat nav decides to work and attempts to get us to drive through a tunnel at the last moment we spot it would actually take us back to near where we started to climb the other side!

 

The Spanish side of Andorra has buildings on every concievable point and there is heavy traffic. At the Spanish customs when asked are we bringing in ciggies or whiskey Colin attempts to point out the bottle of blue label vodka before Chris interceeds that we definatley have no whiskey and we are let on our way.  As we drive away it looks like the Spanish border is the one with the ques at (roughly 10km).

 

Barcelona here we come.....

Bordeaux - and no wine!

Arrived at Bordeaux at 3am. We have a current max speed of 120kmph due to the amount of load we are carrying and if we hit a hill it drops to around 80!!! Grrrr for a performance car, either that or we should have found a NOS kit for the Kaddett LMAO If we did have a Nitrous Kit at least we could have another illuminating switch hehe.

 

The hotel was interesting it was like staying in a wendy house, but it had 2 beds and was cheap.  The alarm going off this morning must have woken the entire floor and both Colin and Chris were playing the game of "if I cant hear it I dont have to get up!". We got back on the road and Chris did the first hit. 

 

As we are running a bit behind the program we didnt manage to partake in any of the local wine but will make up for that soon.

 

Have heard from the Chester Hallers and they are feet dry and at Bordeaux now. We are currently 2 hours further down, but are taking the Andorra route compaired to the coast one they are using. It was great to hear from them but the call came in and made Chris miss the stop he had been aiming for (for the last 97km) and promptly had to do another 50 before change over.

 

We have already emptied the ipod of the first set of music. The playlist hadnt really been thought through and Orbital or Hardcore Dance is not welcome in the early hours by Colin. We had already listen to enough Bio Hazard and some really random "love album" ( 3 times) and only had the dance left. As writting this new music is being uploaded whilst we listen to a mega mix cd.  OMG how retro next we will start wearing pop socks and global hyper colour tshirts.

Hole in One

French Loos, well in for a penny in for a pound. Chris was doing well till he thought how comical it would be if he slipped at which point the giggles struck and everything got technical.

 

Managing to escape with dignity in tact we are back on the road again.

 

 

Les Mans

We made it to Le Man so we are one point down and no arguements.... yet.

 

We have tried to get pics of us and the car in front of signs but it has been rather dificullt as 1) It was dark 2) We have alwasy seen the signs when we are on top of them and stopping takes a bit of time in the "Battle Bus"

 

We did however take pics in the rest area where we uploaded the last lot of blog posts. Chris is grinning anyway!

 

The fan has stopped working in the car but we have a backup 12v one mounted on the dash so its all good.

 

Have heard from WrongWayDown and they are thinking of doing the Andorra run to but they dont get in till later as they were on a different ferry.

Strange Places...

Have just seen a sign for a village called Condom Passage. What an address, you'd expect it to be part of a joke punchline.

 

Sat Nag

As well as Sat Nav we have Sat Nag that offers abuse at us at the push of a button. This will get so much use as we drive!!! I will try to get video footage and upload it.

 

This handy new gadget comes from Tim and Dre and we thank them for their input....... ;)  A guy we were talking to at the ferry seamed impressed with it. He was off with his family visiting the inlaws.

Feet Dry

We are now feet dry in France and starting to do the run to Le Mans. Using hacked wifi at the moment :) and it isnt going well at 70Kmph!!!!

 

The ferry crossing was uneventful and seam to take forever. We Chatted to a lovely couple from Wales who had taken the route of getting a cabin and we were deaply envious of them getting some good sleep.

 

The Garmin rig is working and the map set seams to be holding settings which is a very good thing.

Radio Ga Ga

mmmmmh Chris lost for words again!!! Just put him on the radio his mind goes blank and all he can think is dont swear, dont swear.  Which is not helpful especially as it blockes out all of the vitally important things he needs to mention like the website address.

 

At least we know that an alternate career as a radio presenter would be very very very short.

 

On Our Way

Well we are at the Ferry Port waiting to go. There is a real mixture of excitement and nerves... what will happen.... will we get there.... what if and did I lock the front door??? We were up till 2 am last night working out what we needed to take and didnt and I think we decided to take everying except the kitchen sink but it got hazy near the end.Chris is feeling better and still rattles like a maracass.

 

Admiral Lord Nelson School sent us off this morning and we drew the hamper raffle.  The money raised from this will be given directly to the school they have links with in the Gambia.  We have also added extra stickers to the car from Ocean FM but havent had chance to upload the pics yet. Chris thinks he should have spent some more time scoping wifi access along the route. He remembers starting to look at it but then got distracted, not at all like him ;)

 

Nuts... Chris has just discovered that the laptops dont have spell check eeeeek that means he has to read what he types :(

 

 

 

Bubonic Man Flu

Colin had it first and now Chris, we have both been hit with one of the many bugs that are going around which is making the last few days \ week of prep a nightmare. To resolve the issue they have both taken so many potions and concoctions that they rattle like a maracas! On the plus side at least its now and not when we are driving.

Union Jack Shorts

"We require Union jack shorts....." Chris
"No we bl**dy dont" Colin
"but we are going to malaga..."Chris
"Im not wearing them!" Colin

And after ordering them off ebay Colin wont be wearing them. Chris had enough problems puting them on and as you can see above. What else can I say as I am lost for words, I am not speachless I have been rolling around the floor laughing SO hard I have tears rolling down my face.

This was a fall back plan as the first palce Chris ordered them from sold out. Who apart from us wants union jack boxer shorts?

Pop Idol

Well a random selection of tracks have been loaded on the kit (2 A4 sides of Kareoke Classics) and we will be able to sing \ shout to our hearts content…. I think we won’t get this out till we are well away from population.

Mosquito Nets

Mosquito’s are going to think it’s an “all you can eat buffet” when they see us and despite Chris’ suggestion to drink gin (he vaguely remembers that the quinine in the tonic deters them) we have decided to get a set of impregnated nets. Once again ebay has a lot to answer for and we get them at less than half retail price. As you can see from the picture above they work quite well with the hammock setup.

Flight Simulator

The slot on the British Airways flight Simulator was auctioned on Friday by Ocean Fm in aid of “Help A Local Child” and raised £400!! This is great news and we are extremely pleased that it made so much.

Consulates

If it goes that much like a Poop Sandwich who do we call? A list of the consulates on the route has been produced and as everything printed about 10 times! We are also creating lists of contact numbers.

Chris keeps laughing as he thinks of the Peter Kay Sketch about customs and holidays “Its coffee mate.. I’m not your mate..”

Snow Chains

As it was deemed a good idea to check the snow chains before we had to use them in anger we tried to fit the ones found in the loft…… They must have been designed to fit a tractor!!!! Resultantly we have found some chains on ebay “for a very good price” and now have sets that fit the tires.

Check Lists

Lists on lists!!!! There have been so many back of fag packet lists that it has now been moved to an excel sheet. We keep finding more and more things to take or think about. I swear if we add the kitchen sink it wouldn’t look out of place. We keep making the lists so we don’t miss something obvious or vital. However the lists are getting shorter and more manageable.

Access Granted....

Thinking about worse case scenario, “If it does go wrong…” people back home are going to need to access and manage bank accounts etc. We are still setting it up but are giving family access to the various things. Tim better not start going round putting post it notes on Chris’ stuff with things like “Mine”, “Sell” and “Tip”!! It makes you think a bit getting the wills notarised.

Movies

Mmmmh well this took a lot of thought, what could we take that wouldn’t offend. Debbie Does Dallas is definitely not on the list!!! We have ended up settling for a few classics:

The Entire Faulty Towers Series – It’s not Russian Hamster it’s a Rat!
Over the Hedge – Hammy, need I say more
Ice Age – Love Scrat
Bad Boys I & II – Classic action movies
Monsters Inc – Chris nearly knock Sully out in Florida when he tripped
Lilo and Stitch – Stitch rules
Italian Job – The original….

Music

So there weren’t many suggestions in the Facebook group regarding music to take so Chris has been let loose with his music collection loading the laptops up. The iTunes library now says 7.2days of continual music. There is at least a mix from Linkin Park and Rage Against the Machine to the Now Compilation Albums taking a route via Jazz, Pop, Salsa and Cheese of course not forgetting the 50 greatest Christmas Classics. It is hoped with all this lot that we wont get bored ;)

Fishe

Ok so we know who we are isn’t apparently good enough to get through customs and border check points. We have adapted the Fishe available from the challenger’s website into a usable form and now have multiple copies of the information with the world’s nastiest mug shots on